I'm a work in progress...
Lately, I have been through a little dillema, to say the least....And feel this post will help me to feel better about the whole thing. If you haven't lived through a fight with a family member and it hasn't affected you emotionally, you should not read on. I only wanted to talk about this to, in some way, reach out to others who have gone through something similar, and let them know that it does suck, but there is light at the end of the tunnel....for now at least...
My mom and I haven't had the most solid relationship. While we have "made it work" for as long as we could, we had a huge fight where I fnd it completely appropriate to say that the "sh*t hit the fan"....pardon my French. Our fight was, as usual, started by something completely irrelevent and led to her and I almost physically fighting, and me leaving my house in tears. Now, I want you to understand friends, that I do love my mom, but I have come to the realization that in order for us to have a decent relationship, I must move out of the house. So I did. Luckily, I was able to stay at the boyfriends house for a couple days, but my dear sweet friend Marina, invited me to stay at her house where she has an extra room.
Had this fight happened in the past, I may have thought that all I needed was a couple of days to clear my head and I would be back home, but for some strange reason, I knew that this was my one chance to leave before things truly got worse. Unfortunately, for my mom, this wasn't the best time for me to leave I'm sure, as she just recieved the news that she has basil-cell carcinoma, or skin cancer, on the right side of her nose.
I'm the type of person that believes that I must be there for everyone else in my life before myself, and if I'm not I feel an unwavering sense of guilt. However, I have been trying to keep this feeling buried deep inside for far too long, and during our fight I let it exlpode out of me, and it felt really good to release it.
Moral of the story, letting go of feelings you have deep inside of you is a good thing, even though it doesnt seem so good at the time.
I am a work in progress.